Thursday, June 30, 2011


I am so tired of being chronically tired and in pain. Being so exhausted makes it difficult to feel up to fighting the health battle. I feel so weak. I feel lost. But I am determined to keep on trucking. Even though the ice cream in the freezer is calling my name, and making me promises of happiness. I know that that happiness isn't lasting, and it isn't even real happiness. It's just a temporary relief from feeling the anxiety, stress, and pain I feel. I don't like those feelings. I don't like feeling this way, but it is time to meet those feelings head on. Escaping from the pain hasn't made my life better, it's made it worse. So I figure, maybe facing up to the pain, maybe just letting myself feel it, will help it ease permanently. And maybe someday the emotional toll won't be so heavy.

Bottom line: No amount of pigging out and eating junk food will fix my problems, and it won't fix yours. The only thing that can change me, is me. The only thing I can change is me. And that goes for you too.

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