Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Are You A Pusher?

Are you a pusher?? If you had a friend who was a recovering alcoholic, would you offer them a tall glass of beer? What about just a small glass of wine? If they turned you down, would you offer them a shot of liquor, or just a tiny sip? If you would, shame on you, but I hope you don't! What about a friend trying to quit smoking? Would you push them?

  If you had a friend who was a drug addict and who was trying to quit, would you offer them heroin? How about a couple lines of crack? What about just a quick puff? NO! You wouldn't (at least, I hope you wouldn't). Because you love your friend, and you want them to better themselves, right? You want what's best for them, right? If you are a good friend, you don't want to drag them down, you want to be supportive in helping them reach their goals.

 However, so many times when we have friends who are trying to lose weight, we seem to try and convince them to try just one bite. "One bite of chocolate isn't going to hurt," we might say. "Just try one bite-size piece of cheesecake," "or it's only one cookie." Unfortunately, food addiction is real. And just one piece of sugar-inundated dessert/candy/thing we-are-trying-to-avoid is enough to send our friend over the hill.

 I thought I could eat just one Girl Scout cookie. Yeah, cue an entire day of binge eating, trying to up the sugar high again.

Let me be frank. If you offer someone something, be it alcohol, drugs, or food, and they turn you down, it is not an insult to you. We are not trying to tell you your cooking is bad, or make you feel guilty for indulging yourself. When we turn you down, we have just surmounted the most difficult thing, I think, that we face. Turning down our addiction is so hard, especially when you hold it right in our faces. And I promise, if you continue to press us to partake, it will only make us either a) mad and defensive, or b) feel like we are hurting your feelings by not partaking, and lead us to making a difficult decision, even harder, or possibly c) we may need to re-evaluate our friendship, because quitting an addiction is hard, and we need people who will support us and help us quit. We need you there, in a supportive role.

Let me put it this way. That one bite, one sip, one time COULD hurt us. That one incidence of partaking could be likened to a bite from a cobra. It IS dangerous for us. Overeating leads to obesity, obesity leads to heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes, heart attack, stroke, lost mobility, and so many more problems, all of which can lead to death. It's as simple as that. We know that that is not what you intend. There are a variety of reasons a person might become a pusher, and those are important ones. Reasons that the 'pusher' should examine within themselves, some reasons may include feeling guilty, perhaps they struggle with the same addictions, or others. It could be fear that drives someone to be a pusher, fear of losing their friend, or the relationship changing. It could be any number of other reasons. But the bottom line is, no means no. Please don't push us. Please respect us enough to love us and support us. We need your help. We need your support. We need your love and friendship. Thank you.


  1. So true!! So many people get offended when others say no. We should all be a little more supportive.

  2. I hate when anyone pushes food on me. I also am peeved when I am told I shouldn't eat things. Food is a personal thing and only one person should determine intake, the person eating. I know my sister gets food pushed on her a lot as she gets so very thin when stressed and all it does is make her eat even less. Thin or thick food should never be pushed.