Do You Ever Feel Like . . .

Do you ever feel like, no matter how much you improve, or how well you think you are doing, it is never enough?

Do you ever feel like it doesn't even matter?

Me too.

The BIG 6-0

That's right, 60 pounds have been knocked off of my body. I haven't felt this good in YEARS. It is hard to believe how far I have come. Seriously, I am feeling fabulous. And it is more than just about the number. I have learned to like myself. I am learning to be kind to myself. I am learning to be more compassionate and forgiving of myself.  These are lessons that I stood in desperate need of 9 months ago. And that is how long I have been on this journey. It has been a slow journey too. And it is easy to get discouraged when I figure I have lost about 6 pounds a month, on average. But I try to look at the big picture. Yes, I have only lost 4 pounds this month. But that is still 4 pounds lighter than I was. I am healthier now than I was a month ago.


My first 5K is this week. On Thanksgiving morning, some of my family (mom and sisters) will be participating in the Annual Turkey Trot in Amarillo, which is put on/sponsored by the Lone Star Runner's Club. I am a little nervous/anxious about it.  I keep telling myself, I can walk the whole thing, I don't have to try and run. However, I am going to try and run some of it. My husband and kids will be there are the finish line for me. And I have told my husband I want pictures (NOT video), so stay tuned next week for those. I really am excited. A 5K is not something I have EVER thought I would do someday. And yet, here it is, right in front of me, just waiting for me to take that first step. And baby, I am taking that step.

How much is 60 pounds?

This stack of soap bricks, each weigh 2.5 pounds, weighs 60 pounds.

This dolphin fish weighs 60 pounds.

This flathead catfish weighs 60 pounds.

Over Halfway There

What an amazing feeling to be over halfway to my goal!? I can hardly express how excited I am!

I am now at a total loss of 56 pounds. Which means I have only about 45 pounds to lose. This is wonderful to me, because I look at that a think, "Shoot! I already lost more than that, 45 will be easy!" I love feeling like I can finally get control of my weight, that I finally HAVE control. I am in the driver's seat here, I can make the decisions, I can be the boss of my life. And I am thankful for the lessons I have learned along the way. I have learned to be kinder to myself. To be compassionate with myself. And to accept myself as a good person, who has a food addiction. An addiction that, like any other, can only be overcome with hard work, support and just plain determination, grit, ganas. Some days are easier than others, and some are just plain HARD! But you know, I can do this, I got this. And so I keep on trucking. When I get frustrated, I just look at old pictures, and think, I am no longer that person. When I feel down, I find something that weighs at least 50 pounds, and carry it around for awhile. I don't have to feel so heavy and tired anymore! I have freed myself from an obese, tired, unhealthy body, and given myself a new lease on life, a new opportunity, a life full of health, energy and YEARS.  I can keep going, because I have already done it. I am already over half way there!